Summertime

A busy few weeks for the Theesfeld's. We can't really remember what we did the weekend of the 11th (though we do remember date night at Anthony's restaurant in Metuchen...thanks Nanny T) This weekend saw us down the shore again. Kira loaded the whole crew (minus me) into the car on thursday night and drove down to Brigantine to see Sarah, Frank and Shadow Kern. Friday was a day for the girls in Ocean City, NJ, visiting Svena and Sam and the rest of the Johnson crew. I rolled on down (literally) later on Friday. I pulled another long ride off on Friday (it was Kira's idea, I swear)...145 miles from Westfield to Ocean City. It probably should've been about 135, but I took a few wrong turns around Ft. Dix and added some time and miles to the day (At that point, what's the difference between 135 and 145, right?) I linked up pieces of the Jay's LBI ride and the CLBC longest day ride to spend a lot of time on some great roads with hardly any traffic. The old raritan canal road to Princeton, the bike lanes though the Pine Barrens and the cranberry bogs (and corn and peach and sod farms), and the crazy seabreeze headwinds when I finally turned east for the coast at mile 125. The only real problem was the redneck in the pickup who thought it would be funny to throw a gatorade bottle at me at 40 mph between Egg Harbor and Mays Landing (they're always in pickup trucks). Other than that, a nice way to get down the shore.
The rest of the weekend was nice and easy...the way summer is supposed to be. A nap for Abbie Ray on the beach...running, riding, and rollerblading around the island of Brigantine...hanging out at the pool on the bay (Abigail is DEFINITELY loving the water)...watching the tour and explaining all things bike racing to anyone who will listen...playing with Sarah's new puppy...and trying to always be mindful of how blessed we are to enjoy such glorious days. I do love hanging out with my girls.

Rolling with my girl

Summer showed up this weekend, just in time for the 4th of July. We didn't have any big plans this weekend...we're still settling back in to the routine after our week down the shore...so we planned on a ride together if the weather held up (let's face it, with the way the weather has been this summer, I wouldn't have been surprised if it was snowing on the morning of the 4th). Morning greeted us with beautiful blue skies and temps in the 60's, Nanny T drove out for some Abbie Time, and were rolling.
As usual, the ride out of town was uneventful..we headed out thru Plainfield to avoid the ridge, decided to take part in the 4th of July Parade, and found our way into the Great Swamp, rolled into Harding, marvelled at some of the homes on Bailey's Mill, tried to find a place to grab something to eat in Basking ridge and Bernardsville (no easy task, apparently, on the 4th of July) and rolled back home.
Kira rolled thru the day with style, steady pace, smiling wide, enjoying the day. It's so much fun to spend time with her on the bike, we've had so many great days together on the roads...from Mt. Ventoux and Provence... to the Jersey shore and the Gunks...I couldn't have hoped for a better riding partner.
Hope everyone had a great 4th...

Down the Shore

Our first trip down the shore with Abigail, the annual Filachione Clan in Ocean City, NJ extravaganza, has come and gone with lots of smiles and sand and Mack and Manco's and rigatoni and meatballs...a rather unhealthy amount of fried seafood and beer and wine (but what else are you supposed to eat when you're down the shore...and speaking of down the shore, does anyone else say that, or is it just a Jersey thing? Do people in California say down the shore? Unlikely, I say) A fair amount of rain and clouds but enough sun to make everyone happy (and it's not like the kids cared whether it was sunny or rainy or cloudy...I think fire and brimstone could fall from the sky and they'd be happy because they're at the beach) Lots of naps for Abbie, staying up late and sleeping in, living the good life...and a bit of a much needed and well deserved reality check for Kira and me. Because at the end of the day, all of the stress, the worry, the crazy commutes, wondering why it's all so hard sometimes...all that really matters is enjoying our days. Special thanks to Mom Mom...we're already looking forward to next summer

The Pits

12:32 on a Tuesday afternoon, sitting on the top steps of the crude ring...bored out of my mind. A few weeks ago I mentioned $75 crude and $3 gas...I just didn't think we'd get there so soon.
It's the dog days of summer on the NYMEX...when I first start working down here in the summer of '02, I spent a lot of time in the late morning/early afternoon playing tetris, killing time between the open and close. It sucked. Guys used to take the entire summer off and start rolling back in after Labor Day when the hurricanes start playing pinball in the Gulf. Most of those guys are gone, retired or broke (or both), but it's still dead quiet for most of the day...waiting, waiting, waiting...staring at the screen, looking for a number that just doesn't seem to fit. It was a lot more fun when we were yelling at each other.

Bliss

:complete happiness.

That sounds right. Happy Anniversary Kira

109

I told a few people my plans for Saturday involved some sort of big ride...80, 100, 120 miles...something out there a bit. There were more than a few responses that bordered on concern for my overall mental well being, as in why would I elect to put myself thru such an endeavor. But enough people seemed interested in what such a day might be like that I decided I'd try to put some of the pieces of the day together and tell a bit of the story. Of course, I'm fairly certain the only people reading any of this are my wife and her sister (she's my sister now, of course...thanks for all the kind words Erika, love you)...so this is really nothing more than a heavy dose of self indulgence. But hey, I rode 109 miles yesterday...I'm allowed a little indulgence, right?

Most long rides start the same, the morning follows a pretty steady routine. Up at 5, coffee brewing. Luna and I take our walk, drink some coffee and talk about the day ahead (Luna didn't have any big plans for the day and told me to enjoy myself). Breakfast is something that will stick to my stomach for at least 2 hours, usually oatmeal with some peanut butter and honey, some eggo waffles with nutella...anything that makes me feel like I won't be hungry in 45 minutes (yogurt and granola just doesn't work...I'll be hungry before I walk out the door). And there are the usual checks...tires, food, glasses, $20 bill, credit card, ID...6 gel packs, 2 energy bars...spare tube, CO2, cell phone. I put my bike shorts on just like everyone else, 1 leg at at time (though I applied a bit more butt butter than most of you do, I'm fairly certain about that)

Things start to change as soon as I roll out the driveway. There's a different feeling in my head before a big day. 40, 50, 60 miles really aren't a big deal...a few hours rolling around...they can brutal, fast, hard miles, but they're over in a few hours. Saturday was different. I knew I signed up for a long day, I figured I'd log nearly 7 hours on the saddle and be home about 8 hours after I left. So when I rolled out at 5 before 7, I knew it was on.

The first 35 are easy. The first 10 are spent trying to escape the Route 22/78 universe, the next 15 are rolling miles thru the Great Swamp (yes, there is a Great Swamp up here in NJ, and it's not the same one where everyone from the Soprano's seems to end up), and the next 10 are like rolling thru an episode of lifestyles of the rich and famous. There are a few spots in the Mendham/Bernardsville/Far Hills triangle where (former?) masters of the Hedge Fund Universe and pretenders to the throne reside...they actually label their driveways, as in private road #117...it's obscene how extravagant some of the spreads are up there. But the roads are nice, there's very little traffic, and they all seem to end up at Coco Luxe.

Coco Luxe is a great turnaround point for most rides. Great pastries and cookies (an unreal Savory Scone), coffee...everyone is super friendly to cyclists. It's just a great spot. For me, Coco Luxe served as the beginning of the ride...the next 45 miles were the goods, and I knew it. There's a quick little hop up the hill to cross over 206 and another short steep section to get into Pottersville...and then the ride starts. Pottersville Rd. is a very unique climb for these parts because it's actually more than a mile long. It's about 3 miles, averages a fairly tame 5-6% grade, but it hits you with a couple 10% sections that let your legs know what you're in for. Normally, the last section is baking in the sun, but I was blessed with a cloudy cool morning, and all went well. At the top, take a right and start rolling towards my old stomping grounds, Long Valley. At this point, 40 or so miles in, I'm still debating which way I'll take to the top of Schooley's Mountain (yeah, it's NJ, but it is called a mountain...humor me). It feels good to roll over some familiar roads, the roads that I first really became a cyclist on nearly a decade ago. I remember how hard it all seemed in the beginning...30 mile rides were torture...and it feels good to be stronger now than I ever remember.

At mile 49, I decide to take my suffering straight up, literally. Schooley's Mountain Road is brutal...it averages nearly 10% for it's length of nearly 1.5 miles. The curve...if you've been there, you know what I'm talking about...is 10 seconds of hell. It's so steep my front wheel lifts off the ground when I get out of the saddle and start working. It's like 17%, and it's made worse by the fact that it only backs off to 8%...there's no easy rest until the climb is over. At the top, I know I'm fully committed to the ride...I'm 50 miles away from home and there's no easy way back. 30 miles of rollers and climbing before I can take the "easy" way home.

Along the top of the mountain and into Califon at mile 60...a quick stop at a god awful gas station to grab a few bars and bottles of water...and more hills. Califon Rd. to Guinea Hollow to the back of Philhower (the easy way, but I wasn't done yet). Into Mountainville, along the river until I get to Still Hollow. This is another one of those "I can't believe we're in NJ" roads. It reminds of the scene from Shawshank Redemption where Red travels thru Maine to find the box beneath the black stone along the old stone wall. Still Hollow Rd. is a mile and a half of New England road here in NJ, and it's steep as heck in the beginning and end, with a nice rest in the middle. Still Hollow gets to the top of Bissel and one of the best descents around, all the way back down to Rockaway, a left and a right onto Hill and Dale and the final point of suffering, Parsonage Lot. What a great name, I think...kind of evil sounding. It's like hitting a wall...no switchbacks...just a proper straight up steep climb. Well over 10% for nearly a mile with a few 15+ hits...it hurts, especially after 75 miles.

At this point, the worst is over...Old Turnpike Road (517) is a few minutes of 35mph fun into Oldwick. An unremarkable stop at the general store (it was too late to get the good stuff, the pastries and scones were long gone)...Lamington Rd., Liberty Corner, thru the Hills and over Somerville Rd. I did have an extraordinary meeting with a big doe and her newborn fawn about 90 miles in...the rest of the ride was just a process of ticking away the pedals to home. More busy roads and unfriendly traffic, SUV's and cell phones, fat people making fun of me and my bike shorts...full New Jersey style. But I think that's what makes the ride complete...109 miles of full service NJ cycling

June Showers...

Bring May flowers? Seriously, this is a bit out of hand. It's 90 degrees in Seattle and 65 and raining for 4 straight days here in the lovely garden state. I shouldn't complain, I'm sure it'll be hot as heck here in a few weeks and I'll be wishing for cooler days.

It's a quiet friday here at work after another crazy week...I just had an arm wrestling match in the middle of the crude pit, and nearly lost. Too many miles running and riding and not enough pullups. And while I'm on the subject of miles...

Kira was psyched for me to get in on the Jay's ride to LBI this weekend...the only problem is i thought it was on saturday...the boys (and a few girls, I'm sure) are in fact rolling out on Sunday morning at 7 AM. So, I've got a big opening in my day tomorrow, the weather looks good...might be time to put the hurt on. Maybe something like this?



We'll see how it goes

Lot's of new pics up in the Flickr account. Kira has been so good about keeping things rolling...she's grinding thru a rough couple of weeks with work, but she's doing a great job keeping things in perspective. And Abbie has her 6 month checkup today...The over/under is 15 pounds

Thoughts on a Friday

Some random thoughts on a week gone by...

A week that saw Kira leave us for her first trip since Abbie was born. It was rough, for sure. I kept telling Kira I could understand how she felt because it was so hard for me to leave for Montana in early February...but I know it's not the same. The most obvious difference is the time that's gone by, and how that time has strengthened the bonds we all share. But it's different for Kira because she is, in the most simple terms, Abbie's mom...and that's a bond that I can't begin to understand. I can see it...the way Abbie smiles when she sees Kira, the way Kira let's go of all the stress and anxiety of the daily grind when she holds Abbie...it's beautiful, magical, primal...it's everything that's good about being in love.

Another maddening week of work...a week that saw energy prices go even higher...way ahead of themselves, if you ask me. Things don't make much sense, and yet make perfect sense, again, which probably means crude's going to $75 and we'll see $3 a gallon at the pump before we know it. Of course, complaining is a bit like biting the hand that feeds me, and I'll fight the hypocrite label as long as I'm alive and trading energy products. But I think it's safe to say my 50-100 lots a day have very little impact on the daily price changes, considering average daily volumes are in the millions. It really sucks that the only way the banks can make money is to take the money the government gave them, and instead of lending it, they use it to make big bets on the most lucrative markets they can find...like energy. But wait, this is working, right? The recession is ending, right? What a load of crap...all I see is real prices going higher...and no one I know is going out and talking about feeling better about things...regardless of what the latest greatest financial expert is claiming on our favorite financial news network. Tell me again why I do this for a living?

Listening to Kings of Leon right now...dude, they're really good.

Lance is the man. The guy hasn't ridden a grand tour in 3 years, broke his collarbone 2 months ago, he's 37 years old...and he's getting STRONGER on the bike each day in Italy. Seriously, if he doesn't get you fired up to get off your ass and do something...then check yourself.

The weekend is here...time to get on the bike, get a few runs in, trim the hedges...and hang out with my girls.

5 Star Day

Kira and I have a saying (actually Kira coined the phrase, but I've happily claimed it for myself)...when we have one of those really good days, it's a 5 Star Day(5SD). A 5SD can come in all shapes and sizes...we spent a sunday this past winter on the couch in front of the fire for the entire afternoon...a 5SD. Getting a 100 miler in...a 5SD. Yesterday, for me, felt like 3 days in one, and if I add 'em all up, I think they qualify as a 5 Star Day.
The day started early enough, up at 5, walking Luna, drinking coffee, eating a few eggo waffles, getting ready to get on the bike...the plan was to ride up to my folks house in Long Valley and spend the day helping them...how should I put it...get ready to get rid of a bunch of crap (more on that later). The ride itself was nothing special, 55 miles, the midway stop at Coco Luxe, climbing up out of Pottersville (I still think that's one of the best climbs around here). cruising thru Hacklebarney...but it was still a great ride. The weather was perfect, a beautiful late spring morning, lots of people out on the bike, feeling good about not having to wear knickers...and it was fun to be on some of the roads I first started riding on nearly 10 years ago. Lots of time has passed since I first finished a ride by rolling up River Rd. towards the Worth's...lots of time turning over the pedals of my life...but the way it feels to get out of the saddle and work towards the last sign at the top, thinking of how hard it is to hold on to Chris E's wheel...it's why I ride, why being on the bike is such a gift.
Rolling into my folks' house is always fun...my dad always makes some reference to the absurd amount of miles I just rode (where'd you ride to today, Mike, Ohio?)...and Mom is still ready to feed me the second I walk in the door (and there's still as much food in the house as there was when my brother and I grew up). My Mom and Dad are getting a dumpster delivered this week and filling it with all the things they've been accumulating for the past few decades...helping them get everything together felt like an episode of Dirty Jobs on the Discovery Channel. You can imagine how much dust was on an old pair of luggage that still had the tags from our last flight from Iran in the late 70's...or how burly it was to get rid of that old rug that's been in the basement since they rolled it out over 20 years ago. Moving old mattresses, TV's, bathroom vanities...taking a sledgehammer to the old doghouse...going thru the few things I have left up there...old photos, trophies from 8th grade baseball and my days with the Long Valley Raiders...finally letting go of some things we all held on to for far too long. I spent some time underneath Denali's old tree, listened to a thunderstorm roll in, ate some more food, waited for Kira and Abbie to roll up the driveway...and enjoyed an afternoon at home.
Kira and Abbie showed up as the thunderstorm was ending, spent some time with Nanny and Poppy, and we moved on to the final chapter of my Saturday trilogy...the annual Memorial Day BBQ with the Worth's...where I always end up eating 3 plates of dinner and 2 plates of dessert and Susan insists I eat more and take some home, where Michael always has some project in mid-completion...and where the girls remind me of how much we've all grown up since this whole friendship began at the Chesapeake all those years ago. I remember the first time Chris showed up at the bar, looking for me because Michael told him I ride...Or all the mornings when I showed up at Chris and Amy's before a ride and ended up drinking coffee and eating whatever Amy made for breakfast...all the times with the kids, when they were just kids and I could toss 'em around. I think of how much I admired Michael and Susan and Chris and Amy when we first met, and how I admire them even more now that Kira and Abbie are here with me and I'm only now starting to get an idea of all that goes into being a good husband and father and what it all means. They are great friends and I always cherish my time with them.
It really was like 3 days in one...and if I add 'em all up, I think it was a 5 Star Day.

Behind every man...

if he's lucky enough, there's a woman like Kira. It's a cliche, it's cheesy, whatever. I'm really lucky. She had the perfect words for me this morning at the perfect time. It's funny how the right person can come along and do that...
Between her and Abbie, does it really matter what happens on the NYMEX each day, or that I didn't time the bottom of the market...does any of that really matter? Is it going to matter in 5 years? 10? I'm caught up in a lot of it lately, struggling a bit with all the changes at work, not having much fun with it anymore. It definitely feels more like a JOB than ever before. I'm fighting with someone on a daily basis...fighting for a lost cause, words on deaf ears...seriously, what's the point?
It's time to start letting go...maybe not all at once, but change is coming. Tomorrow is supposed to be 75 and sunny...I think I'll take the day off and ride my bike, hang out with the girls and get ready for the BBQ on Saturday.

Things that get us through...

It sure does feel like things are really hard out there in the world right now. Everywhere I turn I hear horrible stories of people losing their jobs, their savings, their confidence, their faith. No one seems immune, certainly not me. I'll admit to getting caught up in it all...a bad day can shake me to the core and cause me to question my abilities...can I still do this job, am I still a good trader, am I doing the right thing, am I proud of the way I handle myself? Yesterday, unfortunately, was one of those days where I didn't have any good answers to those questions, and it's a bad way to finish the week. And then I come home...and I see Kira and Abigail and Luna. And they smile and tell me they love me no matter what. And they know I'll find my way through. And they tell me to get on the bike and start rolling...and feeling strong...and I realize how blessed I am for all the things I have in my life to me help me get through...

Spring is in the air

It's hard to imagine we had near blizzard conditions on Monday. I'm heading out for a ride with Mike S. this morning in temps that should approach 60 degrees by the time we roll back home. It'll be the first of many rides we'll be out on this season, as Mike is prepping for Leadville and I'm looking to perhaps pulloff the sub 9 hour Wilderness 101/sub 8 hour AmZof double (it's a bit ambitious for sure, not to mention more than a bit selfish to ask for the ability to get in 2 big races this season...the Zof is definitely in my sights, not too sure about the 101 yet). Things are good, Kira just wrapped her first week back at work and pulled thru in fine fashion. It's a struggle to wrap her hands around all the changes but I know she'll shine...she always seems to find her way. Abbie is amazing (though we are still inconsistent, to say the least, when it comes to some of our sleeping patterns. Last nights lack of sleeping pattern would be a prime example) It's all part of the trip, for sure.

The littlest things

It is amazing to think that just 2 months ago Mike and I had never spoken about feedings, dirty diapers, nor pacifiers. WOW! Our world sure has been turned upside down. As every parent forewarned... life is forever changed...but it's so much better. Every day brings with it some new little surprise that brings such joy to our lives. Silly to say, but right now it is the fact that our girl is finally pooping daily... probably too much information for some of you... but for those who know what it's been like we couldn't be happier! Another milestone is that Abigail is now officially in the 8 pound club and is doing great. Never thought she'd outgrow the newborn clothes... but it's happening! We miss you all and look forward to seeing you soon. PS: Check out our newest Abbie pics (click on the Flickr link on the right).

Merry Christmas

I wasn't really sure we would ever get to take this picture. Denali has been touch and go for quite a while...he's officially been diagnosed with cancer and has had us all wondering whether or not it's time to say goodbye. It's a tough decision for sure, particularly for my folks, who've been taking such good care of him for quite a while now. His good days still far outnumber his bad, and Christmas was definitely a good day. And so, our first Christmas card with Abigail is a picture with the whole family...Me, Kira, Abigail, Luna and Denali. Merry Christmas everyone

I'm dreaming

of a white Christmas. Though it looks more likely that my dreams will be mixed, literally, with rain and sleet and temps too warm to sustain this brief bit of winter here in Westfield. Things are good...Abigail is finally getting her eat on. It took some time, but Kira and Abbie are no longer fronting in the feeding department. Kira has been great, and it hasn't been easy. Watching her run through the range of emotions this week...frustration, elation, disappointment, relief...while she gets an average of 4 hours of sleep a day, has been difficult...I wish there was something I could do to take away all the work she has to do. But unfortunately, my boobs don't work quite the same. Even if they did, they don't look nearly as nice as hers.

I Miss You Already

Aunt Erika left today...she came up to visit on Monday. She was a HUGE help! She helped Kira with all kinds of things, too many to list, really. More than anything...the great dinners, the cleaning, the trips to the market, Abigails first walk around the block, the trip to see the surly lactation consultant in Chatham...it was just great to have her here with us. We're really lucky. We are so grateful to Pavel and Sophia for parting with mom for a few days...looking forward to seeing them soon. Thanks again Erika, we miss you already

I believe in miracles

Say hello to Abigail Ray Theesfeld, who decided to join us here a bit early on Monday evening, Dec. 1st. It has been an unbelievable couple of days...completely overwhelming in ways I could have never imagined....but I think I'm most overcome with the feeling that she truly is miraculous. I don't mean that in a "my girl is the most important, miraculous child ever to grace the good earth" (though I'm sure you all would forgive me for feeling so..)...but really, the whole thing, from the moment I met Kira, to our second date seeing Ray Lamontagne at the TLA, to that June day in New Paltz 2 summers ago...all of it leading up to monday night...has been remarkable, a blessing. I think we're both overcome with the feeeling that we're so blessed to have shared so many things with each other and so many friends and our families. We are so grateful for everything...and now, the greatest gift, our little girl.

Getting really, really close

I am a horrible person...that is, if a horrible person is someone who can describe himself as someone who continues to make feeble attempts at posting his semi daily activities for all the world to see.
Then again, it's hard to imagine I can be that bad if I've been lucky enough to spend my days with Kira and be hours away from being a father. I think we're that close. Kira's starting to feel it quite a bit...she's a rock star, getting ready to bear down and get it done. We just carbo loaded...a big pot of sauce and meatballs and pasta...getting ready for what we're half jokingly calling the baby Zofingen (more on the Zof later). It's crazy, this whole trip...Send some good thoughts our way.

Happy Easter

Spending the day with Pavel, Erika and Sophia today...really looking forward to seeing them all, I feel like this has been the longest stretch of time since I've been with Kira that I haven't seen them, and I'm definitely missin' them. Lots of people out and about today in their Sunday best...it's nice too see so many families together, lots of generations...I wish my grandparents were still around, it would be really nice to sit and talk now that I'm starting a family of my own, I hope my poppy would be proud of me. A good day to realize how blessed we all are...

Feelin' Lucky

Today was a really great late winter/early spring day. A great day to get some big miles in, to put some time in, to start feeling really good about the work I've put in the past few months...but I spent most of the day on the couch...and I'm really lucky I did. I've got 12 staples in my back right now holding together a wound from surgery on tuesday. I had a moderate/severely dysplastic nevi (a really bad mole) removed...the staples will come out in 2 weeks and 2 weeks later I'll have another one taken out and some more staples put in. So, I can look forward to the better part of my spring being unable to bend over to tie my shoes for fear of tearing out staples. By the middle/end of may, I'm hoping to get my fitness back to where it was 2 weeks ago. I'm not going to lie, I'm bummed...but I'm lucky. I don't have melanoma, and if I did, we're taking care to make sure we catch it on time. Kira set me straight last week...a spring without riding or running or climbing is a hell of a lot better than the alternative. Sitting on the couch is definitely not the best use of my time, and I'm a bit disappointed it's how I spent my day...but it's rest, which I need...it's time to put some thoughts and ideas together...take some slow walks with the dogs around the new neighborhood...and be thankful for how lucky I am